In the span of one week, I’ll have had four things happen that should throw me into a panic:
- My “check engine” light came on
- I’m about to get another year closer to 40
- I lost my job
- I lost my church
I think you can agree, based on the list above, it’s a pretty bad week. And you’d be right. I’m definitely not celebrating any of those things. But I’m also not panicking (well, maybe a little, just for a moment, about #2)…
- Car trouble is inevitable, and I know that God always provides for my needs. So when that light came on while I was driving down the interstate at 11:00 at night, I said a quick prayer that He would allow me to get home before the car actually stopped working, and then I thanked Him for how He was going to provide the money to get whatever the heck was wrong this time fixed.
- Birthdays are a big deal for most people. But for a single, childless woman (who doesn’t want to be either of those things), they’re actually a ridiculously painful deal. But age is just a number, God has a plan for my life that may or may not still involve having my own family, and at the moment, there’s nothing I can do about it. So I thank Him for another year of life, and move on.
- The job loss was rough. I’ll admit that. It wasn’t my choice, it was unfair, and it was relatively sudden. It meant leaving a job I have absolutely loved because of a decision someone else made on my behalf. But again, I know that God will provide for my needs, that He has my next step all worked out, and that when we’re both ready, He’ll tell me what it is. Did I cry this week? Of course, but not for the reason you might think. I didn’t cry tears of anger, bitterness or even fear. I cried tears of joy and tears flowing from a heart deeply touched as co-workers and friends heard the news and reached out to tell me how much I meant to them, that they were praying for me, and that they knew what I already knew – God is all over this! As each email and text came in, I thanked Him for allowing me the opportunity to serve Him with some amazing people who are changing the state and the world for Christ.
- The hardest part of this, I think, is that I haven’t just lost my job, I’ve lost my church. When you work for a church, it’s always a risk, and for me, what had once been my worst fear has come true. Gratefully, I got to see and hug a whole bunch of people last Sunday, before I even knew it would be my last time worshipping with them. I sat with friends (not always a given when you’re single) and worshipped the God who is unendingly faithful, who loves me, and who is holding me in the palm of His gentle hand. As I worshipped, I thanked Him for this place He allowed me to call home for two years.
While I didn’t see most of this coming, God did. And He had been preparing me.
Over the last few months, God has done some good, hard, amazing work in my heart. He has taught me the benefits of living in humble submission to Him, of making worship a constant in my day to day life, and of the truth of what it really means to trust Him. And even more, He’s taught me that in everything, I can (and should) thank Him.
The other day, I ran into a verse I had memorized about a year ago:
As I meditated on this verse, God reminded me that in all things, I can trust Him. Then, he gave me this:
It may be cheesy, but it made me smile (and if you know me at all, you know cheesy doesn’t usually have that affect on me).
God, in His sovereignty has a plan for all of us.
In His sovereignty, He waits to show Himself faithful.
And what I’ve found as I’ve wandered, fought, skipped, dragged my feet, run, laughed and cried through these 30 some odd years on this earth, is that He waits to show Himself faithful until we are in the perfect place to have the best view possible. And for that, I thank Him!
How have you seen God prove Himself faithful this year?