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I’ve been sitting on this post for a while.  I’ve started writing it a few times, but never finished it.  I never finished it because I always got sad or angry while I was writing it.  I never finished it because it wasn’t encouraging or uplifting.  I never finished it because it always turned into a pity party with a guest list of one.  But I’m going to try again because I now know for sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. 

There’s been chatter in the Christian blogging community lately about song lyrics that don’t work for us, or songs that people can’t or would rather not sing for one reason or another.  This is mine:

I really don’t think I’ve ever been able to make it through this song in church without either wanting to cry or wanting to punch someone.  When it comes on the radio, I change the station.  When it rolls around on the CD, I skip it.  Yes, it’s a great song of surrender (there’s that word again…), and it’s a classic in the Church, but I just can’t sing it.

I’ve been praying for years for the words of this song to be true in my life, but it just hasn’t happened yet.  I’ve struggled with this song when another friend announces she’s getting married or having a baby.  I’ve struggled with this song when my resume is met with silence again.  I’ve struggled with this song when I’ve been lonely or when money just keeps getting tighter and tighter.

Paul struggled with this song too.  It was written centuries after he died, but I know he still struggled with it.  He expressed dissatisfaction about something in his life and God’s answer to Him was the same answer He gives us:  “My grace is sufficient for you…” (2 Corinthians 12:9)  “I am all you need.  I am enough.”

So I will keep telling my heart that God understands my thirsts and my needs.  I will keep telling my heart the only satisfaction it needs is found in the unsurpassing love God has for me.  I will keep telling my heart God is more than enough.  I will keep trusting that one day, I will finally be able to say with Paul, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” (Philippians 4:12)  And one day, I will be able to say to God, “You are more than enough.”

Is there a song you struggle with?  Is there a song you’ve eventually been able to sing because God softened your heart?