I don’t know what my problem is today. I don’t know why I feel sad. I don’t know why I feel discouraged. I don’t know why I feel cut off from God.
I’ve spent hours in the Bible today:
- Doing my daily Bible study lesson because it’s “due” tomorrow, hoping that something in today’s lesson would encourage my heart
- Reading Ephesians, a book that is full of reminders that I am God’s chosen, beloved child
- Reading Judges because that’s where I am in my daily reading (boy was THAT a mistake!!)
- Reading Psalms because they are full of praise for God in all circumstances.
I’ve spent time reading other Christians’ writings and watching a sermon online, hoping for some word of inspiration. Hoping for some clue, some key that will lead me out of this darkness I’m feeling today.
I’ve spent time in prayer, examining my heart for sin that may be getting in the way. I’ve spent time thanking God for His blessings in my life. I’ve asked God what is going on with me today. I’ve prayed for others to get my mind off myself.
And I still don’t know. But I will tell you this, I’m still looking, still asking, still trying to figure it out. I’m not giving up until either I know, or it goes away. I’m not giving up until I am at peace once again.
Perhaps I’m just having a rough day. Perhaps it’s just going to be a “wilderness” kind of day. Perhaps it’s satan trying to discourage me or distract me. Perhaps it’s the Holy Spirit working on my heart. Perhaps it’s God just wanting me to spend some intense time with Him.
You might be having a day (or week, or month, or year) like this too. You might be going a little crazy trying to figure out where your joy went. Or, you might have given up and just gotten on with life, resigned to your joylessness. Maybe you’ve gotten caught in the trap of needing a reason for how you’re feeling. Allow me to encourage you with the following: Don’t give up. Keep searching. But rather than searching for an answer, search for God. He is the answer. Search your heart and ask Him to do the same (Psalm 139:23-24). Search His Word and meditate on it (Psalm 119:15). His word, and not your current circumstances and feeling, is truth (John 17:17)
And when the cloud has lifted and you are once again at peace with your Father, remember His faithfulness and love. And then tell someone else. (Psalm 145)
How is your heart today? What encouragement do you need? What encouragement can you offer to someone else?