So last week, I was absolutely sure I was going to lose Josie. She’d stopped eating, drinking and well, you know, the things that happen after something alive eats and drinks. She was lethargic, spent most of the day (and night) under the ottoman, and when she did emerge, she was walking gingerly and was obviously in pain. This lead to two sleepless nights followed by two days of me either near or in tears at almost every moment. “She’s not even seven years old yet!” I argued. “I’m not ready to lose her yet!” I cried. It was bad.
But a couple of good things came out of last week’s misery:
- I gained a new appreciation for her. I didn’t realize how often I’d ignored her or pushed her away when I felt that she was intruding on what I wanted to do (write, sleep, read, etc.), until I had to face life without her. That, of course, lead me to examine other things in my life that I see as impositions rather than blessings. (Oops!)
- The prospect of losing Josie brought me back to the post I did on surrender. Actually, God brought me back there with a “remember what you wrote?” nudge. (Don’t you just hate it when God quotes your own words back to you?) Through my tears, I had to admit that I hadn’t surrendered everything and finally come to a place where I could honestly tell God that if Josie (or anything else) was going to keep me from doing something He wanted me to do, He could take her.
Well, as you can probably guess from the title of this post, it turned out that there was nothing seriously wrong with her. She was just constipated. (Seriously? A constipated cat? Come on!!). But in my relief, I need to be careful that I don’t forget those two days. I don’t want to forget the lesson I learned about appreciation. And I certainly don’t want to go back to clinging to anything that might lead God to feel like He has to take it from me. I want to be willing to give Him whatever He wants to take so that I can do and be what He wants.
What’s the strangest experience God has used in your life to teach you a lesson?